november 20 etc
Not a great week. I was braindead yesterday and I was something else completely today. A disturbance in the force, some oxygenated blood not getting where it was supposed to fast enough, a pin prick from a voodoo doll an ocean away...
Sometimes I am the most energetic person in the world and you can see it. Sometimes I am the most energetic person in the world and you can't. Sometimes my nervous system is doing rolling brownouts and it doesn't tell me ahead of time. Today was like that. I'd be really, really locked in for 20 or 30 minutes and then zap.
Brownout. All that energy I was juuuuuust using went away and then it was hard to figure out
where I
was and what I was
doing
or was it thinking
hey there's a ping on Discord I wonder who it is and what it's about loljk it's one of four people and it's about fantasy basketball because it's always about fantasy basketball
Anyway I ended up having a little panic attack and melting down. An hour later I was calmly saying "tomorrow I will try again" and "tomorrow is an opportunity to be better" to my partner while we watched pieces of Hawks/Spurs and Kings/Grizzlies.
The Kings are terrible by the way. No one looks like they want to be there. They should light the beam and blind the fanbase out of mercy. Shout out to Hasan Minhaj, who told me he was a huge Sacramento Kings fan shortly after the Raptors won the 2019 NBA Championship. I'll always remember the story I wrote about him because during the two weeks between interviewing him and the story getting printed and going on newsstands I experienced the worst breakup of my life and lost 17 pounds.
As was the case yesterday (and November 7 and November 10), this is more of a journal entry than a blog post but there was a time when that was what blogging was. Also, my returning to blogging (or whatever) was the logical next step after I successful kept a journal for a while earlier this year. Why go from private to public? I think I like getting thoughts out in a way that might help other people get thoughts out. I'm not really ashamed of my thoughts and feelings but my culture tells me I should be and it took me most of my life to be able to look back at that culture and say "mind ya business" in my bitchiest voice.
#Also also also:
^^ Every day the New York Times has an opinion piece that's essentially this pic. I'm not even talking about a specific day or a specific writer except it's almost always Ross Douthat.
#Also also:
❤️❤️ There was a time when I would have sold a kidney to have a setup like this at home. I downloaded the pic. I don't know what this feeling is but it feels vaguely sexual.
#Also:
Last but not least, turn your speakers up and and press play because it's about gd time for some omfgdogs, as old and as good as any oldie-but-goodie. Ed, we will be friends forever (like, forevvvver) for reasons including but not limited to that you sent this to me like 15 years ago.
🌲 gonna
🌼 go
🌱 touch sleep
🌳 grass slorrp
🌷 now s[oan[obg ag q
Be good to yourself.
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